Running on Empty

Eating out in Hawaii, especially in Kailua, has it's challenges. One thing we have noticed is that there are a ton of fast food restaurants, but they tend to be the same ones over and over and over. The most prevalent fast foodies are McD's, KFC, Subway, and Taco Bell. You won't see Carl's Jr. at all, and only a few Arby's, Burger Kings and Wendy's on the entire island. And like the rest of the world, a Starbucks is on almost every corner in downtown Honolulu. You'll find a plethora of Korean BBQ places, Chinese, Hawaiian, sushi, etc. restaurants. But, you won't see very many recognizable (franchise) sit-down restaurants either. There are two Outbacks, Chili's and Denny's, but you won't find any of these in Kailua. And I also must mention since we are talking about what you won't find in our town...no hotels. I'll save that topic for another time.

It's strange how some of the fast food restaurants operate around here. We found very quickly after moving here (since we have a 5-year-old...meaning "person with small bladder") that many of these don't have public restrooms. We went to the KFC in Kailua shortly after arriving and not long after we dug into our meal, Noah announced he had to go to the bathroom. Oops, they don't have one. Needless to say, we ate the rest of our meal very fast and headed for the closest bathroom we could find.

One day we pulled into the Taco Bell parking lot and drove to the back to get into the drive-thru. Hmm...where's the drive-thru? We couldn't believe that a Taco Bell didn't have a drive-up window. By this time we were starting to get a very clear impression that things are done quite differently in Hawaii.

Not only that, the quality of what is produced is quite different here, too. Case in point...I went to KFC after work the other day because I had only 20 minutes to scarf down something before my hair appointment. I chose KFC partly because I knew there'd be no line in the drive-up (yes, they do have a drive-thru window!) and partly because I really like their Tenderroast sandwich. So, that's what I ordered along with a drink. I parked under a tree in the parking lot where my hair salon is. I was looking forward to my savory sandwich since I don't eat out as much as I used to. It was going to be a real treat. I pulled the wrapper off and took my first bite. Let's say I attempted to take my first bite. I don't know what decade that bun came from, but it wasn't this one. I couldn't even sink my teeth through it. The bread was so tough I got confused at first and thought it was the meat that was causing the problem. I ended up tossing the top bun into the sack. Have you ever tried to eat a sandwich in your car with a sloppy mess of tomato, lettuce and sauce as the top? It's not easy. After a couple of bites, I was so repulsed I threw the whole thing away. There went $5.80 down the drain.

After my hair appointment I didn't have enough time to go home before picking up Noah from school, so I thought I'd make amends for my terrible lunch by having a McFlurry at McD's. After waiting 15 minutes in the drive thru (see Taco Bell...it's not really a novelty), I finally got to the order window. I ordered an Oreo McFlurry and the lady said, "I'm sorry, we are all out of ice cream". ARGH!!! This was turning out to not be my day for eating out. Since there was no way to escape the drive-thru, I ordered chocolate chip cookies. I figured I'd waited so long I deserved to have something.

By now you're probably thinking, "okay, so you had a bad day with fast food, no big deal". Well, this is not that unusual. We have had numerous experiences eating out where they've run out of something or the food was absolutely atrocious.

Running out of food is a problem in Hawaii. I've gone to the grocery store for milk only to find them completely out of stock, except for the lactaid free kind where they charge like $6 for a half gallon. This has happened more than once.

When I was getting my haircut, my hair stylist and I had a discussion about this topic of food shortages. She said, "what would we do if there was a terrorist attack that affected the shipping of food to us?" I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear this. No, I'm not that sick. I was relieved because I thought I was the only one that had these warped thoughts. Usually it's when I'm at the grocery store and they are out of milk. But, seriously. If terrorists were to hit the main harbors in California, where most of the goods to Hawaii come from, we would be in a world of hurt. Farm land in Hawaii is drying up as developers look for more areas in which to expand. The last dairy on Oahu is closing down. I don't know how it survived as long as it did because the milk prices on their products were outrageous in comparison to those that were shipped in. Go figure.

So, the next time you mainlanders go grocery shopping with your ample supply of food on the shelves, think of us. The next time you go to Taco Bell, be glad you can go through the drive up window. And, if you have little kids, think of us the next time you are in a restaurant and they say in that high-pitched voice, "Mom, I gotta go potty". Especially if they are no longer in diapers and you don't have a change of clothes in the car.